No child left behind: School lists explicit words
So parents of middle school kids are steaming mad that their children were given a list of explicit words. The school was trying to be proactive and make sure students were educated on words that are NEVER to be used at school. For this lesson, they presented each student with a complete list of profanity, carefully reviewed the list and then sent them on their merry way – to ask their parents, “What’s a blow job?”
Now, with this kind of book learning why is everyone up in arms that our students won’t be ready to compete in tomorrow’s job market. Come on! With this training, they’ll surely be able to navigate the professional world with such well quipped phrases as, “are you f*cking kidding me?” and “he wouldn’t know foreign policy if it bit him on the ass.”
This story reminded me of Kelsey’s first profanity lesson. Three years old and wise to the world, she approached Wes and said, “Dad, we don’t say God damn.”
Wes: “No, Kels, we don’t say God damn.”
Kelsey: “We just say fuck. Huh?”
Whose child are you?
Family fun night last night in front of the boob tube – happily clicking between “Dancing with the Stars” (go Cloris!) and “The Biggest Loser”. It’s very educational. Trust me. Anyhoo, up pops Macy’s new TV ad that reminisces about the good old days and features black and white shots from favorite TV shows. It’s a feel-good spot about how long Macy’s has been around – like 150 years or something.
As the spots ends, our genius son who’s currently taking an A.P. Economics course pipes up, “Sears has been around a long time too. We talked about it in class last week.”
Beaming at the realization that Tyler’s paying attention in class, I respond with, “You know, you used to be able to order homes from the Sears catalog.”
“Yeah, well you used to be able to order brides too,” Tyler added.
“Really?” I ask a little stunned. “Wonder when they stopped that?”
Tyler, “Well, when I order my next washer and dryer, I’ll ask if a wife comes with that.”
I just keeled over – dead from the shock of seeing a pig nose growing on my son’s face.
BUSH: We Must Act Now
Ok, so I haven’t written in some time now. And politics is certainly not my topic of choice for Kirtyhoo – but I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE and neither should you.
The current headline today on CNN.com is “BUSH: We Must Act Now.” Really? Well
gee, Mr. President. Nice of you to fucking chime in. It was so comforting to know
that you cancelled your travel plans yesterday to stay in Washington to attend
meetings on the economic crisis. Thanks. FOR NOTHING.
And in case your super power brain can’t comprehend how the mess you’ve created over the past 8 years has impacted the average family…let me break it down for you.
I lay awake at night wondering if the 401K that I’m been building up the past 15 years is going to worth a damn next week. I work more for less each month because of my generous tax donation and higher health insurance premiums. I worry about how I’m going to pay for college next year when I’m pumping tuition money into a gas pump each month. I pay more for fewer groceries. And I’M ONE OF THE LUCKY ONES!
You’re right, Georgie. We Must Act Now.
Act 1: increase my donation to Obama’s campaign
Act 2: make my voice heard – we deserve better than this
One day at a time
Losing Isaiah has been hard. Devastating. And simply the most painful thing I’ve yet to experience in my life. This last month has been a roller coaster. A completely f*cked-up roller coaster. One minute I’m laughing and the next, crying. Feeling guilty for laughing and then completely pissed off that Izzy’s not here laughing too.
But, there seems to be more laughing now. And remembering funny little stories isn’t followed with tears. Oh, I still have my moments. But now, rather than feeling sick to my stomach when I see Spongebob. I grasp to remember all the funny things Isaiah said all those times we watched episode after episode in the hospital.
I guess this is all part of healing. And that’s really what it’s all about right? You get sucker-punched in the gut and it’s your choice whether you keep laying down, crying and feeling bad. Or, you stand up.
Today, I’m standing. And it’s thanks to the support and prayers of my family and friends. Thank you for the notes and hugs. I love you all.
ISAIAH RAFAEL RODRIGUEZ :: 12/20/96 – 07/02/2008
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Early this morning, at approximately 1:27am, Isaiah Rafael Rodriguez went to be with Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, in a peaceful, sweet passing with friends & family at his bedside…
Isaiah’s story continues in the lives of others he so profoundly touched. Today, Isaiah truly…
OVERCAME!
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Blind sex on my computer
For the past two days, I’ve been interrogating my family – convinced that someone has been looking at porn on my notebook. You see, I was sitting at work on Monday and started typing in bliptv.com in my web browser. And blindsexpress comes up. BLIND SEX. OMG, one of my kids has been looking at porn. It’s gotta be Kelsey. She borrowed my computer last night so that she could MySpace in front of the TV and while I thought she was posting comments on her BFF’s page – she was looking at nasties.
Eeeew. Blind Sex. How’d she even get this url? And what the hell is on this site – people having sex with ugly people only they don’t know they’re having sex with ugly people because their blind?
Well, after two agonizing days of questioning everyone but the dog and everyone including the dog looking at me like I had two heads, I finally found the courage to check out this porn site.
And, come to find out. I WAS THE GUILTY PARTY. See for yourself.
http://www.blindsexpress.com/ProductDetail.do?id=2335&width=34&widthFrac=0&height=77&heightFrac=0
Ok, I farted
So there I was, getting the tour of my new neighbor’s recent home renovations when somewhere between the relaxing guestroom and the painting studio, my butt decided to give a shout out to the lavender paint. Yes, it was loud. And no, I was standing on carpet so the squeaky shoe trick wouldn’t work. I just keeled over – dead of embarrassment. And when Wes and Kelsey quit making fun of me, they might try to retrieve my body.
Celebrate life!
Three weeks ago (and coincidentally the last time I wrote on this site), we were told that leukemia was widespread in Isaiah’s bone marrow, a septic infection had spread throughout his whole body – and that he had 24 – 48 hours to live. But true to Isaiah’s character, he fought back and yesterday we had the complete honor of celebrating his life and watching him SWIM, EAT HAMBURGERS AND LEAD A MASSIVE AIRSOFT WAR ON HIS FRIENDS!
A good reminder for us all to fight for the important things in our life – time with people that love us no matter the score.
“Life is a struggle against suffering. We shine as human beings when we take on that struggle and triumph over our troubles…” -D. Ikeda
Goodnight, Isaiah
Just got home from visiting you in the hospital again. There were so many people there to see you, that we didn’t get a chance to go in and say goodnight. But you needed the rest and needed time with your brothers and sisters. So many people there tonight who love you.
Goodnight, Isaiah. Sweet dreams. I’ll be here when you’re ready to tell me your stories and watch Spongebob Squarepants.
I love you with all my heart and soul.
Kristy
Not IF. WHEN.
Tyler’s our 6′ 2″ long-legged, hurdle clearing machine. And he’s just two races from achieving a major goal for himself – qualifying to compete in the 2008 State Track Meet.
Tyler’s been running track since the 7th grade. Tried cross-country, sprints and even a few relay races, but God blessed him with extra long legs built to step right over things like hurdles. And so, like a wobbly baby giraffe learning to walk, we’ve watched Tyler learn to control his gangly legs and jump over one hurdle after another.
It hasn’t been easy. He’s taken some nasty spills and finished the majority of his high school career at the back of the pack. But he’s there every week – competing. And he’s always believed that he’ll get his Varsity letter and run in the State Meet. He’s said so all season – and until just a few weeks ago, I just nodded in parental support. But you know what? He’s going to do it.
He’s consistently dropped 1-2 seconds off his time each week and last week – he crossed the finish line in his heat of the 300m IH hurdles before the next guy was over the final hurdle. Magic. And the confidence booster he needed going into this week’s trial.
Plus, he believes. He believes in his soul that he’s going to run at State this year. And I believe.
So tonight as I was looking over the District Track Meet schedule, Tyler explained that if you make it to finals on Friday, you qualify for State.
So I said, “WHEN you make it to the finals on Friday, you qualify for State.”
He just looked at me like I had two heads and everything went back to normal.
