Kirtyhoo

Losing Isaiah has been hard. Devastating. And simply the most painful thing I’ve yet to experience in my life. This last month has been a roller coaster. A completely f*cked-up roller coaster. One minute I’m laughing and the next, crying. Feeling guilty for laughing and then completely pissed off that Izzy’s not here laughing too.

But, there seems to be more laughing now. And remembering funny little stories isn’t followed with tears. Oh, I still have my moments. But now, rather than feeling sick to my stomach when I see Spongebob. I grasp to remember all the funny things Isaiah said all those times we watched episode after episode in the hospital.

I guess this is all part of healing. And that’s really what it’s all about right? You get sucker-punched in the gut and it’s your choice whether you keep laying down, crying and feeling bad. Or, you stand up.  

Today, I’m standing. And it’s thanks to the support and prayers of my family and friends. Thank you for the notes and hugs. I love you all.